July 20th, 2015
Jaime came home from work. It was a really normal day. We hadn't text much throughout the day. I was washing dishes/getting dinner ready, when he said it.
"I'm ready to start a family."
I smiled that big cheesy smile and turned around. "Really?" I turned back around to my work. 'Yeah right.' I was thinking.
"Yes, I've been doing a lot of thinking. We'll never 'be ready', we'll never have enough money, so why wait anymore?"
"Are you being serious? For real??" All while thinking, he's joking. He's been so against having kids and sticking with the 5 year plan of 'saving and doing' before we bring kids into our life. I had submitted to my husband's plan, all while still desiring a baby of my own. I just couldn't really believe he would just up and decide to change it up.
"Yes, I'm dead serious." he said.
I fell into his arms and hugged him super tight. This moment is what I've always dreamed of. Finally, we get to have babies! The only other thing I truly desired in life. I teared up. Walked back to my station at the kitchen in the camper.
"Can we start tonight?"
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Normally, when a blogger goes silent, I've realized it usually means that she's pregnant. I wish that was my case. But fast forward to 10 months later from the conversation above and we are still trying.
We've gone through every emotion you can think of. I've googled every possible way to conceive faster. I've tried various herbal supplements, teas, vitamins, etc. Temping with a Basal Temperature Thermometer and using the app Kindara to track everything, has been the best route we've tried (for the last 5 months.) It gives me a piece of mind and I don't waste money on pregnacy tests with it because I can literally see if I'm pregnant or not. (Please feel free to email me with any questions you have about it.)
I'm not medically classified as infertile, since we haven't tried for a whole year yet. And we haven't gone to see a fertility specialist yet either. The purpose of this post is so that we can have more prayer warriors on our side.
I have a doctors appointment next week and I'm not sure how it's going to go. It's possible that I have endometriosis, but, honestly, I have no clue. That's why I'm going to find out. This is just a place to start to see if there's anything medically we can do.
We know God gave us the desire to be parents. We also know, it's all in God's timing, there's nothing we can do to change that. So we just ask for your prayers! Pray for us to have grace, acceptance, and peace as we go through this.
I know I'm not alone in this. There's many couples out there struggling just the same as us. I want to use my platform (the blog), as a way to connect with other women trying to conceive. Maybe a support system of sorts. I know I have two friends who are also struggling with conception and there's immediate comfort in talking to them about it and knowing you're not alone. I want to be that for you guys too! It's hard to be positive and not drown in pity for myself and Jaime. I want to vent, cry, and get angry most days just like anyone else. But you can't live a good life like that.
So I'm choosing to fill it with joy. As always, I'm looking to God to help me deal with our situation. And in the mean time, I'm choosing to make the most of my days with Jaime before we add a bundle of joy into the mix. So we ask that you keep us in your prayers during this time. Thanks guys!
I'm here if you ever want to talk.
Email me at faithnallthings{at}yahoo{dot}com or DM on instagram or fb.
